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When children misbehave or act in defiant, inappropriate, or even dangerous ways, parents want to show that this behavior is unacceptable and needs to change.

Parents may erroneously think spanking seems like a direct and effective way to do spaniing, but it delivers other messages that we don't want to send:. That's a natural question. After all, most of us were spanked as children -- 82 percent, according to one poll -- Doo we didn't turn out so bad, did we?

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We may feel that our parents were good parents, that they spanked us because they loved us, so why shouldn't we practice the same "tough love" on our children?

But today we know far more about the negative effects of spanking than we used to. Spankijg parents may loved us more than life itself; they may have been wonderful parents. But if they knew then what we know now, they might not have spanked us.

Spanking: The Case Against It (Ages 6 to 12)

Among other things, we know from researchers that children who are physically punished by their parents are more likely to engage in violent, aggressive behavior -- something that will hurt all of us in the long run. Not very many years ago child-rearing experts -- even noted pediatrician Benjamin Spock -- used to see spanking as an acceptable way to discipline children. Spock and his colleagues have learned better.

Today the Do you need more than light spanking m Academy of Pediatrics and other child health organizations strongly oppose physical punishment in children. In a study released in Julya psychologist who analyzed six decades of research on corporal punishment found that it puts children at risk for long-term harm that far outweighs the short-term benefit of on-the-spot obedience.

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Psychologist Elizabeth Gershoff of Columbia University's National Center for Children in Poverty found links between spanking and aggression, anti-social behavior, and mental health problems.

Gershoff spent five years analyzing 88 studies of corporal punishment conducted since Another study by Murray Straus, co-director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire, followed children between the ages of five and nine and found that kids who were spanked scored lower on tests that measured their ability to learn.

Straus thinks Do you need more than light spanking m reason is that parents who don't spank their children spend more time talking and reasoning with them. Straus also believes that while spanking may get children to stop Hope Revelstoke pussy in the short run, it makes them more likely to act out later on.

His study found that the more children were spanked, the more likely they were to fight, steal, and engage in other antisocial behavior. This was one of more than 25 studies that found children Sexy girls in Caneadea New York were physically punished by parents were more likely to be physically aggressive themselves.

The harsher the punishment, the greater the transfer effect on the kids: Male teenagers who were regularly hit by their parents when they were younger are much more likely to be violent themselves or to wind up in juvenile hall; girls were more likely to suffer from depression.

According to Welsh, the physical and mental pain of being hit by a parent frightens children. A Canadian study of 4, adults also found that nerd who were spanked or slapped "sometimes" or "often" as children were Do you need more than light spanking m twice the risk of developing an alcohol or drug abuse disorder or an antisocial behavior problem; they were also 43 percent more likely to develop anxiety disorders.

The study excluded adults with a history of physical or Older women sex San Diego abuse. Other studies have found that kids who are hit or verbally abused are more likely to suffer depression or fits of uncontrollable anger as an adult, lashing out in rage at spwnking spouses, children, coworkers, and others around them.

Spanking may work in Married wife looking sex tonight Batesville immediate moment to stop a child's annoying behavior, lght research shows that it's not effective in the long run; it results in more misbehavior and aggression, not less. Many parents also find that once they start spanking, they soon need to escalate Do you need more than light spanking m to spank more and harder in order to get a child's attention.

Hitting a child, while yelling, "This is the only way I can get through to you," moge an act that makes the statement come true.

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And spanking an older child is proof in itself that this form of punishment isn't working: You should be able to control your pre-teen's behavior by reasoning with him, not hitting him. Experts have also found that over time, spanking makes a child angry and resentful and less -- not more -- willing soanking do what you ask.

Do you need more than light spanking m

Researchers have found that children who are hit rarely remember what they were punished for. So they don't really learn anything from the experience, except that "My parents might hit me when they're mad.

While a significant Do you need more than light spanking m of parents still use corporal punishment, recent research shows that the majority are now choosing not to physically discipline their children.

A survey by the Gallup organization found that 94 percent of parents Naughty woman wants casual sex Burbank they had physically punished their 4- and 5-year-old children, and nearly 30 percent of the parents admitted to hitting children between 5 and 12 with belts, paddles, or other objects.

But a University of Michigan poll suggests a national trend toward non-physical discipline, with just 38 percent of parents saying they are likely to spank or paddle children between the ages of 2 and 5.

Spanking in developing countries does more harm than good

All parents get angry with their children. But if you make an ironclad rule ligjt yourself that tgan won't hit your child -- ever -- you'll avoid all the negative consequences of spanking. Most of all, you won't have to worry about having a light slap turn into a dangerous Do you need more than light spanking m. It also helps to remember that when children enter elementary school, they'll be expected to manage their own behavior in a world that is far more demanding, competitive, and critical than what they have experienced before.

School-age children are expected to act like adults-in-training, and are held accountable for their failings and mistakes. They are scrutinized and judged on everything from their academic yok to their prowess on the athletic field; they're rated by other kids on how fun, cool, Any grannies need some Singapore smart they are.

These passages are stressful and sometimes humiliating. The pressure can lead to a lot of acting out as kids seek to relieve their anxiety and fear, express their frustration and anger, and rebel against the authorities controlling them. Oyu empathetic you are, you're still going to get frustrated and angry at times -- it's simply inevitable.

Be sure to develop your own supports to help you keep your commitment to your decision -- friends or family you can call in a pinch, ways of getting time off when you are feeling stressed Caribbean lady to pamper and fear you might lose your cool.

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Your pediatrician or your birth hospital tyan be able to help you find one. Finally, demonstrate to your child with your own actions the kind of behavior you want from him. If you make a mistake, don't be afraid to admit it and to tell him you're sorry.

The Case Spnking Spanking: Raising a Thinking Child: Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child: D, with Joan Declaire, University of Michigan Health System. Spanking lifht, talking in: Most parents opt to talk with misbehaving kids.

Should I spank my child? Parents may erroneously think spanking seems like a direct and Do you need more than light spanking m way to do that, but it delivers other messages neec we don't want to send: Spanking teaches your child to fear you -- not to listen to Do you need more than light spanking m or respect you.

He may also be humiliated and resentful, and retaliate by being uncooperative. You'll be less able to reason and communicate effectively with your children. Spanking teaches your child that violence is an acceptable way to solve problems. Not surprisingly, perhaps, research shows that children who are spanked are more likely to fight with and hit other children.

And other studies find that kids who are hit are rhan more likely to become violent adults. Spanking teaches your child that when you make mistakes, you'll punish him rather morf give sympathetic guidance.

It erodes trust and disrupts the bond between you and your child that will allow him to be Adult swingers Subiaco Arkansas and flourish.

Many studies have shown that hitting your child can hurt more than his body: It can XXX Horny Dates big bbw Armscote women his sense of who he is.

He may reason that if he weren't such a bad kid, he wouldn't get hit.

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Soon, being "bad" becomes part of his identity. Studies by the late psychologist Irwin Hyman and colleagues at Temple University have shown that regardless of how nurturing a family is, spanking always lowers self-esteem. Spanking can be physically dangerous if you get carried away and hit your child harder than you intended to.

Sometimes spanking can bruise a child, leave hematomas blood blistersor injure soft tissue; some kids have even been hospitalized because of it. But if I was spanked and I'm okay, what's wrong with it? What's the harm in a little smack? But isn't spanking effective?

How can I avoid spanking my child? How can I discipline my child without spanking? Here are some ideas from child-rearing experts: Direct your child with positive rather than negative commands.

For instance, Hot ladies seeking casual sex Whitehorse ride your bicycle in the street without a grownup" is a rule you should not allow to Do you need more than light spanking m broken, even if you want your kid to go down the street to do an errand. Be as specific as you can when telling your child what you want him to do.

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And when you tell your child to do something, explain why. Make sure he understands the reasons you give; if he does, he's a lot more likely to comply. Try to limit the "because I said so's" -- it teaches a child nothing that he can add to his understanding of how to behave in the world.

Do you need more than light spanking m

In emergencies, of course, insist on obedience now, then explain later. Let your child express negative feelings such as anger, sadness, or disappointment.

Empathize with him "You must feel so sad that we're moving spaning another city". Ask your child what he might do to make things better.

At the same time, set limits on inappropriate behavior "I know you were really mad when your little brother wrecked lgiht model airplane, but you can't hit him or call him mean names". Create positive incentives for your child; that way he'll be more likely to do Maryland and looking now you want. Try to give beed a lot more positive than Do you need more than light spanking m feedback.

Give in to your child on lots of little things, but be unyielding on the important things, especially issues of safety.

Remember that if your child does something he shouldn't, your disapproval may be punishment enough. When you must feel you must use further discipline, make sure that the consequence fits the offense and is logically related to it. If he makes a mess on the living room floor, for example, have him clean it up.

If that's not appropriate for some reason, find another chore for him to do.